Don’t Judge the Character — Including Yourself
Photos taken by Harry Guest.
In acting and in life, the truth lives where judgment ends.
One of the first things I learned in acting class — and one I’ve returned to again and again — is this:
You cannot judge the character you’re playing.
The moment you do, you’ve lost the thread. You lose access to truth. To complexity. To connection.
Because if you’re judging them, you’re no longer in them. You’re observing. Policing. Condemning. And what could have been a layered, human performance becomes a shallow imitation of who you think they “should” be.
It’s the same with ourselves.
We think self-judgment is a tool for growth. But in reality? It cuts us off from growth entirely. Because you can’t transform something you’re busy shaming. You can only control, suppress, or deny it — and none of those lead to freedom.
Lately, I’ve been noticing this more. In class. In life. In moments of stillness. A thought will pop up that feels ugly, or wrong. An impulse I don’t “approve of.” And that voice comes in fast:
“Why would you think that?”
“You should be past this.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
But here’s the reframe I’m learning to hold:
Thoughts are not truths. They’re not sins. They’re not a reflection of your worth.
They’re just thoughts. What matters is how we meet them.
In acting, if I want to portray a character honestly, I have to understand what drives them. Even if I don’t like it. Especially if I don’t. Because the moment I reduce them to a “good” or “bad” label, I flatten them. And the audience can feel it.
With ourselves, it’s no different.
Judgment flattens. Compassion expands. Judgment controls. Curiosity liberates.
So today, try this: When a thought arises that you don’t like — one you’d normally judge — pause. Instead of labeling it, meet it.
Ask:
What is this really about?
What emotion is underneath this?
What might this part of me need?
Let that be your script. Your guide. Your next line. Because in acting and in life, you can’t play it real if you’re busy trying to fix, punish, or perfect it. Truth requires trust. Freedom requires compassion. And the role of a lifetime — your life — deserves nothing less.
